To the small number of people who follow my blog.

I am in a period of transition. In April, on the occasion of my 18th birthday, I will officially be inducted into the Satanic coven I have been associated with for the last year. There is study and research they have asked me to carry out as part of that process which occupies a fair amount of my time when I am not studying for school and university. More importantly I am living a life fully in line with Satanic principles.

I have found this blog a bit frustrating as I have not really known what to concentrate on. In my defense I started this about 18 months ago and I have changed and grown up in many ways since then. I suppose I made the mistake of introducing myself and my blog as a “young” Satanist. I have found that label a bit limiting. I now prefer to think of myself as simply a satanic woman. I have found that as soon as you mention the word “young” a lot of judgements and suppositions are made.

But as a Satanic woman I don’t have anything special to say that many other satanic women couldn’t say themselves and in fact being young is a factor there since my lack of experience is clear. For that reason I have decided to abandon this blog for the time being until after my induction. I will then reinvent it or perhaps start a new blog if I feel I have something worth saying. I will probably continue to contribute from time to time to Sophie and Cassie’s Devil’s Advocates blog.

I invite my friends and followers to follow me there until after my induction and then we shall see what comes next.

Satanic Blessings to you all.


Atheism, Satanism and Morality

A friend on a forum recently pointed out an article from The Huffington Post to me. Basically it states that around the world, even in secular societies, people seem to believe that if you don’t believe in God you are more likely to be immoral. Or that atheists have less morals and are more likely to commit violent and sexual crimes.

I think that is rubbish although I concede that a lot of religious people probably do think that way. However,  when I was talking to another Satanist friend he told me that my opinions don’t make sense either because I call myself a Theistic Satanist and you can’t be both an atheist and a theist and you can’t really be a serious Satanist if you are in any way theistic. I think he is wrong about that but I can see I have some explaining to do. So let me make some statements which I will then explain in more detail.

I am a Satanist. I am a Theistic Satanist. I don’t believe in God. In fact I think it is ridiculous to believe in God. Still, I am a Theistic Satanist. I believe there is a “thing” called Satan which is not a god in the way people usually understand but which takes the place of a god in many ways. I am an atheist. I do have morals.

So, to explain a little further…

The problem with atheism is that it is too often defined by what Christians and other major religions describe God to be. Of course I don’t believe in the Christian God, or the Jewish one or the Moslim one… Those ideas of God are unscientific and obviously false.  I don’t believe in Hindu or Pagan gods either. Well certainly not as “Gods” anyway… I believe that everything that exists in any dimension, exists according to scientific reason. I believe in the Big Bang and the expansion and evolution of our universe in the way that science explains it. And I think in time science will fill in all the gaps in our understanding of these things.

The problem with some atheists is that they sometimes go too far; or even that they are too lazy to think of Gods in any other way than the way old fashioned religions describe them. Some of them seem to be saying that nothing can exist unless science can “already” explain it. That is stupid. There are many, many things that science can’t explain yet.

I do not believe that there is a God who created the world and who sits in judgement over us. But I do believe that there are many things in the universe which science can’t yet explain. I believe that there are things/entities/energies in the universe which we can sometimes connect with. These are not Gods in the ways old religions understand, but might still have an influence over us. The disgusting power crazed thing that Christians worship might be one of those things, if it exists at all, but it certainly is not a god; and certainly not worthy of any respect.

Satan, on the other hand, is an energy which exists, which is not selfish and which can help us to grow. I have experienced that thing and I respect it. It is not a God, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real or important. Some people might argue that Satan is “just” an aspect of our own selves. I don’t know. It might or might not be true. What I do know is that Satan is something I find worthy of respect and something which is empowering. I do not worship Satan but I do respect him or it. In doing that I am also showing respect to myself and the power I (and potentially all individuals) can have.

I also know that philosophically Satan is the opposite and the enemy of what the Gods of Christianity and other old fashioned religions represent. Satan stands for the power of the self and not the power of the Church or religious authorities.

Therefore I am a Satanist and I come under the heading of Theistic Satanist because I believe Satan is an actual “something” but not a God in the way most people interpret the word. I don’t believe the common perception of God exists at all, so I am still an atheist.

I also think I am a moral person. In fact I think those of us who are atheists probably have more meaningful morals than those who aren’t. When we are good it is because we decide it is the right thing to do and not because somebody else tells or forces us to do the “right thing”. Only the morally weak need somebody or some “thing” else to tell them what is right and wrong.

If I do something bad I am not going to blame God or “Sin” or some other thing; I will be honest and blame myself. If I do good I will take the credit and not give the credit to God or Grace or some such stupid notion. It is all just me.

People who can’t do that are not very mature in my opinion.

Also I am not going to believe something is good or bad just because the Bible or some other book or some religious leader says it is. I will make up my own mind.

For example I think it is normally wrong to steal or to kill people because that just makes logical sense and our society just wouldn’t function if we all went round stealing everything and killing anybody we didn’t like. Plus, I’m not a psychopath! You don’t have to be in any way religious to see the wisdom of these kind of morals.

It is also obvious to me that it isn’t wrong to love or have sex with somebody of the same sex (as long as you both agree to it obviously). But it does seem wrong to me to be prejudiced or hateful to people who have a different sexuality or colour or whatever… People who have those kind of prejudices because of their religion are the most immoral and weak minded people I can think of.

So to conclude… I am a Theistic Satanist and and Atheist and that is possible if you read my explanation. I also have morals. I don’t claim to be good all the time but I do have morals. Morals are not in my opinion in any way connected to religion. There are moral Christians and Immoral Christians. There are good atheists and bad atheists. There are moral Satanists and probably immoral and amoral ones too. But if you can’t decide your morals for yourself; if you just do and believe what others tell you to all the time, you are weak and your morals mean nothing.



Satanic Seventeen

I have just celebrated my 17th birthday. Well, actually I am still celebrating as I have another major party with my family next week. Birthdays are the most important events in the year for Satanists, because we like to celebrate ourselves, our independence and the people we have chosen to be. Some people don’t think much about that, some people are content to go with the flow and just be whatever other people expect them to be. We are different. We invent ourselves.

Even so, one of my birthday presents was a book in which all my friends and family each wrote a page to say who they thought I was. I was quite touched and it made interesting reading, so I am going to quote a few extracts… (I will keep some of the names to myself).

The first are from family so they are a bit cringy… But I like them anyway!

“In some ways Tina will always be my little girl, but she is a woman now and it has been a pleasure to get to know the person she has chosen to be. We have many beliefs in common and I grow to love and respect her as a friend and an equal more and more each day. She makes me very proud.” Sophie (My mother).

“Tina is my daughter, my sister and my friend. She is amazingly grounded and mature for her years and she is kind in very practical ways. I’m sure she’ll break many hearts because it will be hard for anybody not to fall in love with her.” Cassie (My other Mum)!

“Tina is an amazing young woman who is intelligent and kind. She can be a little crazy too! She loves animals, especially the ones that other people don’t like. She has a similar attitude to people. For seventeen years she has made me proud every day and I’m sure she will continue to do so.” My Father.

Then a few from friends…

“Tina is like one of the bad girls. She smokes and swears a lot but the teachers like her because she is clever.”

“Tina gives good advice and stands by her friends. A few years ago she was a cute and shy little girl and now she is more adult than most of the teachers.”

“Tina is a bit crazy. She smokes all the time she is not in class. She would kill to get an ice cream. She has a pet spider. She has strange beliefs. She is not like anyone else I know.”

“Tina likes animals of all sorts, including spiders. She is very good at science and biology and she wants to be a vet I think. She is ambitious and she works hard. She seems wise. She has lots of energy and never seems to get tiered.”

And finally from my boyfriend (He is also a Satanist but this was written in an open book so he didn’t write anything that would get me into too much trouble).”Tina has many friends but still keeps many things secret. Everybody knows she is kind, but she can be harsh if she wants to be. She is not in any way innocent but can still be a child sometimes. She is funny. She is sexy. She is very intelligent and knows what she wants. She likes to experiment in all ways.”

But as well as a time for celebration, Birthdays are a time to take stock of where you are, think about the direction you are heading, and decide what you want to do next. There are many aspects of my life to organise but here in this blog I will speak mainly about my path in Satanism, which in fact dictates almost everything else.

I have come to many decisions. The first is that I am a Satanist through and through and this is something I want to embrace even more fully at this time of my life. For that reason I am going to join a Coven. This would not be the correct path for everybody but I feel it is the best for me. Many people may have assumed that I would join the coven run by my mother, but we always knew there would be many problems with that. Therefore I have decided to join the coven my boyfriend attends. I have already attended several of their meetings and they have agreed to take me on as an acolyte. My training has already begun. This caused some discussion and controversy in our home because my new coven is older, more traditional and perhaps in some ways darker than the one run by Sophie and Cassie. However, for many reasons I feel it is right for me and I believe that my mothers’ support my decision.

I have also decided to use this blog to chart my progress along the path I have chosen and reflect on the lessons I learn along the way. However, whereas Sophie and Cassie often try to explain things in terms that non Satanists can understand, that is their choice and their mission but not mine. I don’t really expect many non Satanists to read this. I am writing only for myself. Other Satanists or anyone who is curious are welcome to read what I put here on a public blog, but I am not going to explain, excuse or justify anything.

An area where I am in slight disagreement with Sophie and Cassie is with the use of the word evil. In my opinion they worry a bit too much about the way other people interpret that word. I think they are overthinking. If Satan or the Devil are evil I don’t have a problem with defining myself in the same way. I am fairly intelligent and I have decided of my own free will to follow the left hand path which Theistic Satanism is. If that is evil, so am I. I have my own private rules and morals which are in line with Satanic thinking. The only person I have to be true to is myself.

If I was writing in the book about who people think I am, I would say this;

Tina is intelligent, hard working and ambitious. She speaks several languages and intends to work with animals as a vet or zoologist. She can be kind and helpful when it suits her but she can be cruel and nasty too. She can be a child but she is not innocent. She is a committed Theistic Satanist who respects and is guided by an entity known as Satan or The Devil. She describes her true nature as Satanic or evil.

Actually it is a relief to say these things and make this declaration to myself, it makes me feel more free and honest to myself. I will no longer be the person that other people expect or want me to be, not in any way. I think humans invent complicated moral values which restrict their true nature. I am amoral in the way of an animal. I will not be unnecessarily cruel or unkind, but I will do whatever it takes to survive, to prosper and to be happy.

Hail Satan!

Hail Myself!

Advice to other young satanists

Sorry I haven’t posted here for a while, I have been busy with other things and life in general.

Sometimes I get asked either online or face to face, what advice I would give to other young people starting out in Satanism. I remember when I was starting out on this path I looked around online to see if there was anything specifically aimed at young, let’s say teenage, Satanists. To be honest I never found very much and ended up reading things that were clearly aimed at older people. I was very lucky because I have grown up in a Satanic family and when I came across things which I didn’t understand, or thought were a bit suspicious I could always ask my mother and Cassie for their opinion. Not everybody is so lucky.

When thinking about what to write in this post I had another look online to see if anything new had sprung up for young Satanists. Again, there wasn’t really much, and embarrassingly this time I sometimes got directed back to things which I had previously written on my mother’s Devil’s Advocates blog! I am not an expert! And also some of the things I wrote a few years ago when I was younger and my English was not so good make me cringe now!

There was one thing I found though which I think is very helpful for young Satanists and that is the following communique from the Church of Satan, which I think is quite sensible and helpful.

What I am going to say is mostly just repeating what is said in the above communique, with a few of my own thoughts added.

The first thing I would say is that there is no rule book for being a Satanist although “The Satanic Bible” is a good guide and starting point. Being a Satanist is about being an individual, being yourself, thinking for yourself and coming to your own conclusions about things. You don’t have to agree with all other Satanists about everything.

As a Satanist you respect yourself and you respect other life forms. We are all animals. We are not better than other animals; we are just more intelligent than most others (in some ways at least) and it is our responsibility to use our intelligence wisely. We don’t expect Satan or any other God to solve our problems; it is up to us.

Satan is the opposite and the enemy of the sheep and herd mentality that you often see in other religions and philosophies. We work things out for ourselves and live by our own rules.

Adult Satanists don’t think it is wrong to have fun, to enjoy ourselves in all sorts of ways including sexually or to have a generally hedonistic attitude to life; BUT, we also have a responsibility to look after ourselves and keep ourselves healthy. Anyone who thinks that Satanism is about thoughtless sex orgies and getting wasted on drugs is completely wrong. And anyone who expects you to do things you are not comfortable with involving drugs or sex when you join their group or coven is not really a Satanist but might be a criminal whom you should report to the police.

You don’t have to be a member of any group, society or coven to be a Satanist. Most people start out on their own and many people stay that way. Some Satanists only meet and talk to other Satanists online, and that is fine.

I have had a bit more experience of coven/group Satanism than a lot of people my age just because my mother and Cassie run a coven and over the years I have gotten to know some of the members. However, I have never been to one of their official meetings and even though they treat me as an adult by now in most ways and they know I have a boyfriend and a life of my own, they have made it clear that I wouldn’t be able to join their coven until I was 18 (in just over a year) and it would be better for me to join another coven when the time comes anyway. (Which I will, but that’s another story).

But the main point is, never be pressurized into joining any kind of Satanic group. There are some fuckheads out there who are just looking for victims to manipulate, and real Satanists should not be victims of such people.

I have realized that I am a bit arrogant. That is something which often goes with being a Satanist. We have torn the wool away from our eyes and we see things more clearly and honestly than a lot of people. We don’t believe in superstitions or many of the silly things that some religious people believe in. We are self centered and mostly believe in science and the value of education. From that point of view it is sometimes too easy to look down our noses at others, but usually that is not helpful. We don’t want to add to the prejudices and misconceptions people often have about us. While we should not give too much time or effort to fools, we should explain our views calmly, clearly and politely to anybody who is interested in what we do or think. I have seen this simple thing have great results. I think it is a particularly useful strategy if you need to explain aspects of your beliefs to family or friends who may be very worried by the idea that you are interested in Satanism. Remember most people have been brought up to believe that everything about Satanism is evil and damaging and it is only natural for them to be worried about you if they think you are in some kind of danger.

So finally I would say…

Once again, Satanism is about being yourself, being free, self sufficient and independent.

Satanists are INTELLIGENT, Free Thinking, Animals, and we should value all those aspects of ourselves.

Solitary Satanists are the norm. Not everyone can or should be in a group or society.

Satanists should read and learn all the time… About Everything!

Satanists can do magic, but it doesn’t all have to be ritualistic or ceremonial. A lot of it is just being strong willed and using psychology.

Satanists are all unique and different.

Learning and having fun


There were Saturnalia Holidays, a trip to England, back to school, a new forum and Trump becoming President and I learned a lot from these things.

Maybe the biggest lesson is that the world is full of sheep. Of course, Satanists always say that and I always thought it, but the last few months and days I saw the reality of it. And it makes me feel different. I really don’t want to be one of the sheep.

I suppose the thing that made me realize how sheepish most people are was Trump being President. But that was just the tip of the iceberg in fact. All over Europe and America political parties and people are getting into positions of power because a lot of people are too stupid to realize they are being lied to and herded like a bunch of sheep. I suppose I should just say it’s ok because people will get what they deserve. Quite a few of my satanic friends say that. But it isn’t that simple in my opinion. The reason is the leaders who come to power can affect my life too and the people whose lives they affect the most will be the ones who never would have voted for them. I’m a young woman, I don’t think it’s ok that the most powerful person in the world can disrespect my sex, my gender and my choices. The problem is, a lot of intelligent women and men agree with me but a lot of stupid sheep don’t (or just don’t care because they believe the easy lies of people like Trump).

I have sex. I need birth control and I want to be in control of that part of my life and not rely on misogynist morons like Trump to decide who can or can’t have birth control. Also, the fact that I like sex does not make me a slut or a bitch or anything bad and nobody (especially Mr Trump) has the right to touch my “pussy” without permission or to talk about mine or any other woman’s sexual parts in a cheap and nasty way! And if it ever happens that I need an abortion (which obviously I hope not!) it is my decision and my right and Trump or Christians or any other group of people don’t have the right to interfere.

So I suppose I have learned I’m also a feminist.

Cassie started a new discussion forum which I have been taking part in. The interesting thing is that it is for people with any kind of alternative spiritual beliefs; not just Satanists like us. Most of the people there seem to be pagans of different kinds and there is also a Native American and a Pantheist. I have learned that I agree with quite a lot of things that Pantheists believe, but that doesn’t make me any less Satanist… It is interesting for me because Cassie and my mother experimented with many religions before becoming Satanists whereas for me I was always Satanist if anything… So it is good to learn new things. It is also nice to be myself and not be judged and so I guess I have learned to respect some things even when I don’t agree with them completely. And also there are some people who do not have such a bad impression of Satanism. I didn’t get to debate with any hard core Christians yet; that might be fun…

Saturnalia was a week of more of parties and fun. It was the first time I was able to fully join in and it was interesting to see people I know from the Coven in a new way…Well…Mostly drunk! I even saw my mother and Cassie in full on party mode and quite off their heads! And also people saw me being me, and I didn’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Apart from the fun side of things, what came out of it was getting to know people and myself in a much deeper way.

Then we went to England and met up with people from the coven Cassie used to belong to. The great thing about that was I made a lot of new Satanic friends and contacts and people who really take it seriously and who I will still keep in touch with and learn from. We also visited some nice places (I especially liked the New Forest and Glastonbury). On the bad side though I got the feeling that England is seriously fucked up in some ways! Mostly because of that Brexit thing I think, we saw quite a few racists and xenophobes… I couldn’t believe how restrictive they are about smoking in England but I’ll write about that in our other blog.  Also I had to go to hospital because I dislocated my arm and that was a bit of a nightmare!

Then in between all those things happening I dumped my old boyfriend and got a new one. I suppose that wasn’t very nice of me but I never pretended to be nice. The new one is older and knows more stuff; which is good for me!

Going back to school was strange. I feel more and more like an outsider there. Most of the people (teachers and students) seem like very innocent sheep, and that’s not me anymore. Anyhow I have to do it. Actually I might even study harder than usual so I can get school finished this year and go directly to university. There are some ways to do it but it would be hard work. Or I might finish my studies and take a year out before going to Uni… Lots to think about!



Io Saturnalia!


We don’t celebrate Christmas exactly, but we do celebrate the Winter Solstice, Yule and Saturnalia which in our family all get rolled into one big long week of parties and debauchery! We have only just got started and this is the first time I have been able to enjoy some of the more debauched elements. I might write more about it next week, depending how much I can remember… But so far I can tell you it is fun! Who wouldn’t want to live in a Satanic family!

Anyway, to all my readers, whatever you celebrate at this time of year, best wishes, have fun and be naughty!

From Wikipedia… [Saturnalia was an ancient Roman festival in honour of deity Saturn, held on 17 December of the Julian calendar and later expanded with festivities through to 23 December. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn, in the Roman Forum, and a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying, and a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted, and masters provided table service for their slaves. The poet Catullus called it “the best of days”. ] See more at Wikipedia .

Daily Life


I’m not a morning person. To be honest it is best not to speak to me much in the early mornings. On school days I should be up at 6.30 but I leave it as late as I can and usually don’t get up much before 7am. There is often some shouting and swearing from my mother and I at this time! If Cassie is at home she just laughs and makes the breakfast. I don’t eat much at home because I have my main breakfast at school in the long break after the first lesson. At home I just have some yogurt and muesli if there is time. These days I never leave home before I have had a coffee and a cigarette. I like it when the three of us are at home and we have coffee time together. It is a relaxing moment during which my mother probably forgives me for swearing at her when she was waking me up.

My school day starts at 7.45 and goes on till 1.45 or 4.30pm depending how many lessons I have each day. There are some days I am very busy. Generally I like school and learning (it is the getting up early that I hate). I think for most of my school life the teachers thought I was a sweet and well behaved girl. These days they probably have to accept that I am still mostly well behaved in the things that count even if I am not sweet and innocent anymore. Biology is my favorite subject and Latin is my least favorite. I always have at least an hour homework each day and normally I am pretty good at handing it in on time although, since I have been having boyfriends, I have to admit my homework is more often late and a bit rushed!

After school I sometimes meet my friends in the city for a coffee or to go shopping or I go to my boyfriend’s apartment. I don’t often sleep over at my boyfriend’s place during the week but I spend most of the weekend there.

Most evenings I watch some TV or read (that’s after doing any homework that is due in) and of course spend a bit of time on Facebook and things like that. When all three of us are at home we try to spend at least one evening in the week doing something together connected to witchcraft or Satanism. It could be a ritual or learning a spell or just discussing something. I also try to do at least one small thing on my own each day which is related to Satanism and that might just be reading something or doing a meditation. I call it Satanic mind training.

On Friday, I often meet my mother in the city after school and go to a cafe for a chat. Then we come home together and I pack a small weekend bag and go round to my boyfriend’s place (or sometimes he comes to us). Friday night we go out somewhere like a shisha bar or club and then I spend the night with him. Saturday morning I have a part time job in a department store. Although my mother and father, Cassie and a few relatives are generous to me with money I think it is good to be as self sufficient as possible. I think it is good Satanic philosophy to be able to look after yourself. Also money is power, and I want as much control over my own life as possible. So for now it means I always have enough money to go out and for clothes, music and cigarettes; and I am even saving some for when I have an apartment of my own. I am also thinking about some other jobs and money making schemes that could give me even more independence now and when I am at university.

On Saturday afternoon I usually plan things around my boyfriend. He plays in a football team so I often go and support him. Otherwise I do shopping and hang out with friends. In the evening there might be a party or a clubbing somewhere. The rest of the time we pretty much just have sex.

Sunday I sleep as late as possible then around midday, when I have been fucked to ample-sufficiency (as Cassie puts it) I join Mum and Cassie for lunch somewhere in the city. This has been a tradition for the three of us for a long time. When I was still just a child Mum and Cassie would sit and chat after dinner while I played in the playground of the restaurant or went around finding insects or other animals. Now I kind of join in with them and I like it that way. My mother is still my mother, but she is more like a friend now. I don’t think there are any rules I have to obey at home anymore except to do my share share of the housework (which I always did anyway) and  pay for anything I break or damage. I always gave Mum and Cassie space and privacy when they needed it and now they do the same for me. After lunch I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening at home just chilling or finishing off any homework that still needs to be done.

And that is my daily life.

Fuck! When I was reading this back to myself I realized that relying on my mother to wake me up on school days is very un-Satanic and childish! I guess I should buy myself an alarm clock that works… I will miss my grumpy, swearing fights at the start of the day. I bet Mum will too!

The Personal Blog of a young Satanist


Hello Again!

I admit I had a little problem. After my first few posts I couldn’t think what to write. It became clear to me that at the age of 16 I cannot claim to be an expert in Satanism. I am a Satanist and I can give my views and opinions on things but obviously I am not an expert. I was speaking to my mother and Cassie (who you may know from the Devil’s Advocates blog which I also write in sometimes) and they suggested I just write a personal blog; The life and opinions of a sixteen year old Swiss girl, who just happens to be a Satanist. So that is what I will try. And to start off, I will just write a bit more of an introduction to me and my life.

So I’m Tina (that is my blog and online name but not my real name) and I am a sixteen year old girl who lives in Zurich, Switzerland. I am in the last two years of a Bilingual High School where I am studying lots of things with a focus on Biology and Chemistry. My lessons are mostly in German and English but I study French as well. I am a pretty good student and usually get high marks for my assignments. I also get on quite well with the teachers and hardly ever get in trouble but I’m not a goody two shoes. I have a life. I get on well with some of the students who have problems at school and in life. I don’t do hard drugs or anything like that but I do smoke and drink and I go to parties at the weekends. Still, I take study seriously because I know what I want to do in life (well some things anyway). After school I will go to university (probably here in Zurich but maybe abroad somewhere) to study Veterinary Medicine. The bad news about that is that wherever you do it it is a really long course.

I have a boyfriend whom we shall call Max. We have only been together for two months and I am at a stage of being a bit experimental in my relationships so we will see how far this goes. Let’s just say in relationships I am honest but not very loyal to the one I am with. They have to accept that or not. I am too young to be too committed and I like to experience new things. I guess at the moment I am more interested in sex than love, but if love happens  that will be an interesting experience too. I thought I was in love with my first boyfriend but I really wasn’t. So I guess in relationships I am not always nice. Also, although I only had boyfriends so far I guess I am bisexual and I am not the kind of person who will let that stay “in theory” for too long.

I have to speak a bit about my family because that will put some things about me into context.

Sixteen and a half years ago my mother gave birth to me. My mother was then a teacher and still is, but now she works in a special school for kids with problems. My father was at that time a graphic artist but also played in a band. Music was and is his big love. He still plays in some bands and does his own art. My parents separated when I was about 7 and my father now lives with his girlfriend also in Zurich. I have always seen him regularly and I think him and my mother are still friends really. After the split, my mother had a few not so serious boyfriends and then Cassie came into our lives. I think I knew the first time Cassie came round to visit that she was going to be part of our family. I was delighted when my mother told me she and Cassie were going to get together “officially”. Cassie is like an older sister to me and extra mother rolled into one.

I sort of know that some people think our family is a bit of a strange set up, but for me it is normal and most of my friends also have parents that have split and then come together in new constellations. My mother and Cassie are not really lesbians, they are just bisexuals who were lucky enough to find and fall in love with each other.

I knew Cassie was a witch from the start of her relationship with my mother and I was very curious about that. I kept asking her things and she began to teach me about witchcraft. I have been learning ever since. I didn’t know that she or my mother were Satanists at first but my mother has always been very honest with me about things and after a while I found out about it. At first I thought it was just one of those strange things that parents do sometimes, but I was curious so I googled it and began to do my own research. After a short time I realised that I agreed with nearly everything I read about Satanism, especially the more philosophical parts, and so that’s where it began for me. My mother and Cassie tried to put me off but I can be very determined when I want to be.

So I am a Satanic Witch and as I get older it becomes a more and more important part of my personality. But while it is important and in some ways is in the background of everything I do, it isn’t everything. I mean, I’m normal… I like shopping. I like music (metal and indie), I play the piano. I like animals. I have a boyfriend. I like sex. I like travel. I am pretty much normal, I just believe and do some things which are not so common.

So that’s my reintroduction. I’m not sure how personal I will be or what I will write next. Let’s wait and see.


My Satanic Morals



Some people don’t think that Satanists have morals. That isn’t true. It’s just that we don’t usually share other people’s morals. Other people’s morals are usually based on religions and cultural conditions which we don’t agree with. Our morals start with ourselves. We don’t pretend there is a god forcing us to act a certain way. If we are good it is because WE are good. If we do bad it is because WE are bad. Nobody else is to blame. We are our own gods. We have to decide for ourselves what is right or wrong in any situation and take the consequences for our actions.

Satanists don’t have a rule book of morals, but because we believe most other religions are wrong we often start off by questioning or opposing things that other religions and philosophies accept without questioning. Some of us also take some of the ideas of Anton LaVey as a starting point.

So these are my morals. Some are totally my own, some come from Anton LaVey.

1. Satan represents myself. I can do what I want but I am also totally responsible for whatever I do, good or bad.

2 Nothing is always good and nothing is always bad. I can be both good and bad and both sides of me are equally ok.

3 Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence! And Satan represents all the so called sins because they lead to personal gratification. Some religions make you feel bad for enjoying all the possibilities of life and all the things your body can enjoy. Not so with Satanists. I think it is important to experience and enjoy everything I can. It doesn’t mean I can’t be kind and helpful to others when I want to be and it doesn’t mean I should forget about everything else except having fun, but it does mean there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself as much as possible. People call that hedonism and they think hedonism is wrong. I am a hedonist.

4 The greatest real sin is stupidity. Not thinking about what you do or the possible consequences is a real sin. So I have no time for stupid hedonists. Heroine might be fun for a while but if it ruins your life or kills you it is stupid and unsatanic. Or, I can have sex with as many people as I like but if I don’t take precautions and get aids there would be nobody to blame but my stupid self. So that means in Satanism we have permission to do anything that could be fun but we are also obliged to think about the consequences of our actions seriously before doing things.

5 Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe-dreams and Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit! This means we live in the real world as it is. We let ourselves grow up and don’t cling to childish fairy tales. We don’t believe the myths and legends of different cultures or religions as facts although sometimes we can understand what those stories were trying to explain. We don’t know what happens when we die and probably nothing does so therefore we have to make the most of the life we have. There will be no reward in heaven and no punishment in hell. We value science and learning in order to grow and improve ourselves and we value experience for the same reason.

6 Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates! We don’t waste our love on everybody but we are very loving to those who we decide deserve our love. This could be family and friends but it could also be people we decide deserve help because they are poor or sick or their lives are ruined by natural disasters. The key is that WE decide for ourselves who those people are. And we believe that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and sometimes it is better for people to learn to look after themselves than for us to look after them.

7  Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek! I don’t think I need to say more on that.

8  Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development” has become the most vicious animal of all! I don’t know why some people need to separate themselves from other animals. We don’t. And in fact when you understand that you are an animal I think you understand yourself better and more realistically.

And finally; I don’t believe there is any ultimate good or evil, right or wrong that a fairy tale creator of the universe set into stone. We all decide everything for ourselves. Some will say I am evil because I choose Satanism rather than some other religion. That means that in their minds and in their eyes I am evil and so are my family and friends. If that is what those small minded people want to think that is okay but the truth is the real evil is in their minds. I’d rather be evil than be like them.


What this Satanist Believes


  1. Science and Creation.  I think science is the best way to understand the world and everything else. Science doesn’t understand everything yet but it is the best way to find things out. There are some things which science can’t fully explain yet and then we have to trust our instincts and our imagination (based on the knowledge and the science we already have) and so we can choose to believe things that make sense to us. But only until science gives us the exact answer. I believe our universe was created in the Big Bang and that one day (maybe soon) scientists will be able to explain every aspect of how and why it began and what is going to happen to it. I believe humans evolved in exactly the same way as all other species. We are just animals that evolved brains that allow us to think and imagine so that we can solve problems, adapt to different situations and survive.
  2. Satan and God(s).  I don’t believe there is one big, judgmental creator God of the type Christians and Muslims believe in. I think that was just a fairy tale to help explain things when we didn’t have enough scientific knowledge. I think during history people in many parts of the world came up with ideas about different gods to help explain things and sometimes to control people and make them afraid. These days we can look at all these invented Gods and just like people, there will be some we like and want to know more about and others we don’t like. But these “Gods” have a sort of psychological energy. In witchcraft and I think in some kinds of psychology (Jung?) these things are called egregores or archetypes. So we can identify with these things and over time they take on an energy of their own that we can connect with. I think Satan is a major one of these. Satan is kind of like the rebel who is the enemy of other gods that have been used to control people’s behavior. He is nearly always portrayed by the main religions in a bad way because those religions don’t want people to think for themselves. But once you see it that way Satan is in fact the God or archetype of freedom. So I think Satan is a super egregore which definitely has an energy of its own which I can feel. There are other archetypes, energies, ideas and egregores (known as Gods or Demons in different religions and cultures) which I also like and connect with. Especially Lilith. I know some of this sounds unscientific and maybe superstitious (which is something most Satanists, including me, hate). However, I think it comes more under the heading of things which science can’t quite explain yet, but will do one day; and if my beliefs or understanding on this subject turn out to be wrong I will change them.
  3. Rules and Morals. I don’t believe there are any rules or morals set in stone. I don’t think there is a supreme good or a supreme evil; I think all ideas about good and evil, right and wrong are personal and subjective. Of course there are some things that I personally think are right or wrong and I think society has logical reasons for agreeing some rules, like not killing or raping people. But in the end it is for the individual to decide what to do and take the consequences for their actions. For me I follow some of the things that Anton LaVey wrote down because they make sense to me, but mostly I do my own thing!
  4. Maybe the most important part of my beliefs is Personal Responsibility. I think as a child you learn all sorts of things and then as an adult you have to decide what is best for yourself. In some ways the job of parents is to educate children to be able to decide and do things for themselves. I choose what to do. I think about what the results may be and then I take the consequences, good or bad. And Satan is like a symbol of my free will, not to be a sheep but to think and do my own things for my own reasons.
  5. Magic. I have been learning magic for four years already (I have the advantage that my step mother is a witch and a teacher)! Satanic magic come in two forms. One is really just about using psychology to get what you want. The other kind is about using all kinds of knowledge that is forgotten or forbidden by some religions to make some things happen. Most of it is very scientific and can be explained. Really it is just about building up your knowledge and using it. It gives you more control over your life and the things and people in it.
  6. The Left Hand Path. This is something that is complicated to explain and probably needs a whole post. To explain it in a short way, it is a kind of philosophy which is focused on self development by living in the real world and experiencing all the things which can help you grow. It is kind of the opposite of religious philosophies which say you should always deny yourself and put others first and that the material world is somehow bad and distracting. It can seem very selfish if you are used to seeing things the way other religions teach, but actually it is not selfish in the way most people think. Mostly it is just real and honest.

So in conclusion, I think Satanism is about living as fully as you can without giving a fuck about other people’s opinions or judgments. It is about learning as much as you can and not accepting any borders or boundaries to what you can know. And it is about being and doing all that is possible without being restricted or controlled by other people. But with all of that there is still personal responsibility and that is where the real morals begin because you have to think seriously about how your actions and your choices will effect yourself and other people you care about further down the line.